the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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