I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Will you blow on my dice?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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