I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
