I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
only if we run a train.
done.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Randomize
