we have officially lost it.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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