There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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