also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
