I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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