do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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