I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
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