Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
