Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
