I'm really into asian looking animals
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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