It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
