Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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