I'm going to rape someone's good day.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
