Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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