Quick, to the slutcave!
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
