no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Randomize
