dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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