Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
