I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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