How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
