You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize