: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he wants to bone in the snuggie
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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