we have pet lesbian snakes
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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