Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
