the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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