The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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