I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
