I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
