You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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