I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
