I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize