Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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