Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
