Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
