I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
