So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
