Sponge bath it is.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
