I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
