I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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