This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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