He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
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