so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize