this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
