trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize