I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
