Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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