Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i out mim tonsoeep
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
