i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
