Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
you inspire me to be a worse person
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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