Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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