why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
A+ Viking dick
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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