I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
