I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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