She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
