I intend to get homeless drunk
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize